"It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels"
~ St. Augustine ~
On Tuesday, September 11, I was asked to sing "Too Close" by Alex Clare for my brother and his friends. I thought I had it in the bag, and even felt kinda good about myself, being the only one who knew the song really well, and finally being asked to sing. But when I opened my mouth to sing, I couldn't. I wasn't as confident as I thought I was, and seemed.
I had every reason to be uncomfortable, since we were in a huge room with several other people, and I had never sung in front of other people outside of Church. They were being the awesome guys they are and encouraging me, saying, "C'mon, don't be shy," one sharing his own first singing experience. I was among good, honest, humble friends, and I knew it. But I wouldn't sing.
So I started thinking, wondering why I wouldn't sing. Once we were called to clean up at the end of the LCHA day, I broke away and went to tackle the kitchen floor with my mighty broom, because sweeping is something I can do and still think deep thoughts. I came to the conclusion that I needed to die in myself.
"What on earth is she talking about?!"
I needed to humble myself. I couldn't sing not because I was shy, but because I was prideful. I couldn't get over myself so I could sing. Pride has always been my downfall, and it beat me once again.
I don't really think as much as it seems -- I'm actually a first-rate airhead -- but I feel an overwhelming urge to share my thoughts when I do think. So I thought some more on the way home, and came to the further conclusion that shyness is the result of pride.
Killer question #1: "What do you mean by that?"
Rhetorical answer/question: What is shyness?
Answer: Shyness is often when one is scared to act normally in front of other people, usually out of fear of either looking like a fool, out of character, or obnoxious. But humility entails a disregard of how others view you, thus setting you free of shyness.
My solution for shyness: die in yourself. In acceptable words, kill your pride and sing even if you sound horrible -- you're probably the only one who cares. Sing like you're in church, or in the shower, or in the car with the radio turned up all the way.
In the Bible, it was pride that cause Lucifer to rebel. Pride is a powerful sin, and something that should have no place in any man's heart -- the sad part is that it probably does. It is a sin that comes most naturally to us, but something that can be tempered, though not easily.
So chew on what I've said; pray about it, and remember that I'm right there with you. Keep in mind Proverbs 15:33... "The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honour."
Food for thought:
"If one would like to acquire humility the first step is to realise one is proud. Nothing can be done before it."
~ C.S. Lewis ~
"Humility is not think less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."
~ C.S. Lewis ~